Archive for February, 2014

Church Pulpit_Alter

Ah, good – there’s no-one here. Right first thing’s first – the prayer requests book – oh, it’s missing. I wonder if Alan has it. Where is he? Perhaps in the office, getting the notices photocopied. Hmm… better make a mental note to check with him then.

Anyway – let’s see who’s preaching today? Ahh – Bill Palmer of City Road Baptist – a good egg – a little traditional, but always a decent sermon.

Okay – better switch on the lectern light for Mr Palmer – yup – working fine. Bible?
Hmm, now where’s the Bible? Oh hello, here’s Alan.

Hi Al – how’re things? Done the notices then? Great. You seen the pulpit Bible? Hmm?

The prayer book – thanks – was looking for that too. What’s that? Oh yeah – no problem – I’ll carry on here.

Right – better sort the numbers for the hymn board first – let’s see – 56, 273, 95 and 22.

Ah – here come the first arrivals. I might have known – Miss Dunwoody, and Miss Fox – always check in at ten-fifteen on the dot. I’d expect nothing less from ex-teachers.

Hello, good morning – yes, Miss Fox – indeed, it is a fine morning –

Well, it would be if I could find the Bible. Please God – time’s pressing on – I’m praying earnestly – help me find the Bible.

Sorry Al? The microphone. Haven’t tested it yet. Will do – no problem. Okay, mic on – ‘testing testing – one, two, three’.

Well that seems fine. Now, let’s see about the Bible. It must be here somewhere. Wait – perhaps in the vestry cupboard – okay – back we go – is the key in the drawer? No.

Hmmm… oh, I see – under the charity envelopes. Aha! So, over to the cupboard – and – hurrah! The Bible. Thank you.

Back to the pulpit.

I see the church is filling up. And Bill Palmer’s just arrived.

Good – all sorted. Just the Bible reading to find – Psalm 27, verse 14 – hang on – that’s a famous one – ‘Wait on the Lord…’.

Hmmm… have you been trying to tell me something again, God?

Words: 328

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