I was asleep all of last week: from the minute I got off the plane and almost wept in the taxi on the way home, all through the April showers until yesterday when the sun finally showed its face. I was overcome with a feeling of unbearably loneliness as I handed over squillions of pounds to the chirpy black cab driver outside my front door.
My head was swarming with little worms who wormed and wormed until I gave in and they froze my brain. Music lost its magic and even the allure of the skybox was thwarted by those lumpy pink things nestling in my grey matter. The invaders were dead set on afflicting me with emotional constipation and weren’t ready to relent until they said so.
The milk turned sour and the mothers pride blanched a delightful green colour.
I refused to cry because of the worms – I simply shoved them back up my nose when they threatened to drip out. When the rain leaked through the window and stained the paintwork and the shower leaked through the kitchen ceiling and the skylight leaked onto the rug…water water everywhere: then I cried and yelled at my son to give me a wide berth and not expect tea, unless he was happy with another frozen Kiev.
After one whole week and a one whole day and half a night, I woke up in the middle of that night and ordered the worms to leave. I squeezed them out with words that I tippy tapped into my iPad. I flushed them down the loo with all the unshed tears.
Every nano second of every single day of my entire life I have to live with me and that includes crap from the past and all the accompanying bells and whistles ‘time gone by’ has blessed me with.
Time 4 am….time to purge the demons.