Never one for obeying rules, Gregory couldn’t help but challenge anything he perceived as an attempt to control a particular aspect of his life. Many called him a conspiracy theorist or just plain mad, but he was convinced that The System had devious ways and means, and that most other folk were completely in its grip.
Almost everything he saw that didn’t comply with his own stance was, he firmly maintained, put there by governments and their institutions. The purpose was to make people’s lives ever more powerless and insipid.
“Danger! Keep Out!” for instance, translated as: “Something Important we do not want you to see is in here!” He would relentlessly try to get inside if it was physically possible. Frequent arrests reinforced his paranoid outlook.
Upon spotting “Keep off the grass” Gregory would immediately walk (and sometimes run, cartwheel or somersault) on the turf in question. He would do so in the concrete belief that not only was it his right, but that his life would almost certainly be enhanced by disobeying such an order. It was clearly designed to keep him restrained.
In the past, upon spotting a “No Right Turn” sign, Gregory would habitually swing his car across the road, regardless of any inherent danger to himself or other motorists. Nowadays, with the intense plethora of road signage on display, he generally found it safer to take the bus. They’d taken his license anyway.
It was not only official notices that Gregory took issue with. Even the unlikeliest piece of public writing could be intended by The Man to stealthily exert control. So Gregory tried his level best to disobey anything he deemed even slightly suspicious.
Large black letters sprayed onto some wooden hoardings commanded: “Never eat anything bigger than your head!” It really rubbed him up the wrong way. An unmistakable governmental effort to prevent the common man from enjoying larger, more exotic foodstuffs.
So it was that Gregory choked to death on an aardvark.